Letting go and feeling beautiful

I have been in deep thought about this subject all night and I figure the only way I will get to sleep is to put these thoughts on paper (aka send them out into the blogsosphere) and be done with it. 

In the title of my post i am referring to letting go on the "letting go of yourself after having a child" front.  You often see a friend that was once the Queen of fashion, Miss fit, social butterfly, whatever change into something totally different after she has a baby.  And I'm sure once or twice you've judged that new Mom thinking, "She has just totally let herself go" followed by, "I will NEVER do that".  :)  I'm sure I've had these thoughts before, but as I'm sure you can imagine, my thoughts on the subject, post-baby have changed.  I've changed!  I am a different person in so many ways.  My priorities are completely different and my responsibilities are greater than ever. 

I sometimes will look in the mirror and judge the happy, albeit somewhat tired Mom looking back at me and scold my self for not dying my gray-haired roots, or shake my head at my unpolished nails, or give a smirk at my hair in a pony tail...again.  But on other days (in my opinion, days I have a bit more wisdom about me) I don't spend that extra five minutes, staring in the mirror judging myself.  Instead I throw my hair up in my pony tail, get on all fours and chase my son around the living room while he laughs his head off. 

Or I walk into the living room, smile at Boston and he looks back at me with those "I'm in love with you eyes" and what do you know?  I feel beautiful.  Or I get the house all cleaned and make a lovely meal for my husband and maybe even a little treat that adds a few more calories to our diet, but when my husband looks at me with nothing but gratitude and tells me how much he loves me, I feel beautiful.

So ya, I don't look quite as great as I did before.  I'm a few pounds heavier,  a few accessories lighter and my hairs no longer in style.  But for me I have struck a really nice balance between the pre-baby days of obsessing over my weight and looks and the initial post-baby days of walking around half naked barely finding the time to brush my teeth with that crazed, "I haven't slept for days" look permanently etched on my face.


The things that are important to me are lining up in the right order.  And down the road I may add a few more accessories to my outfits and hopefully get back in shape, but for today I am content putting wrestling with Boston and relaxing with my husband near the top of my priority list.

In my opinion, my life's never looked so beautiful.