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| After we got Boston's picture with Santa |
So I've been off my medicine for 6 days now and I feel great. My doctor and pharmacist think I probably won't have much withdrawal symptoms since I weaned so slowly. Withdrawal's probably not the right word, since the medicine I was on isn't addictive at all, but if I understand things correctly my brain probably wasn't producing much serotonin (the happy feel goody stuff in your brain) while I was on the meds cause the meds did the job for me, but since I weaned so slowly my brain had time to start producing serotonin again while I still had little bits of the medicine in me. (A Dr. would probably cringe just reading my explanation of that). So, that's my not so eloquent way of saying I feel great and I've got good reason to believe I will continue to feel that way.
When my anxiety started I prayed a TON for help and an answer that continued to come back to me was "nutrition." Nutrition, nutrition, nutrition. I haven't known quite where to start, but since Boston was born I felt impressed that If I made a lifestyle change with the way I eat, I could save myself a ton of grief from anxiety.
A little less than a month ago (when I had a mini panic attack that I mentioned in a previous post) I felt really freaked out and even a little bitter toward the Lord, thinking, "what the heck?! I'm doing everything I should, to eliminate this anxiety and now it might be coming back?!" but I was quickly humbled by the immediate thought of, "NUTRITION". So I decided it was HIGH time I really make that a priority. I was talking to a sister about this and she connected me with a close friend of hers that's like a health nut guru. She's amazing! She told me that sugar and caffeine are really bad for anxiety and she practically eliminated her anxiety by cutting those two things out of her diet. After talking to her I realized why I so badly needed to change my eating habits. Sugar was a HUGE part of my diet. I have a giant sweet tooth and candies and sweets were apart of my daily life...caffeine not so much, but sugar, definitely. I talked with her about some ideas and plans and one week before I started on my lowest dose of meds, I cut out any sugar that doesn't come naturally in foods (basically honey and fruit are the only sugar I intake now).
I thought it would be INSANELY difficult, but it's one of the easiest things I've ever done. I'm sure a big part of that is the Lord giving me a giant helping hand, but I also have excellent motivation. Cut out sugar and I can quite possibly eliminate anxiety? Sign me up! So for almost a month I've cut out caffeine (which meant I had to cut out the occasional soda and chocolate) and all unnatural or processed sugar.
A website that I found really helpful is
THIS. It lists 50 other names for sugar. Did you know sugar hides in almost EVERYTHING WE EAT, under names that sound nothing like sugar? I practically have this list memorized so now I never read nutrition labels (I think they're kinda crap) and I just read ingredients. I am a lot pickier about the things I buy, but because I'm not eating sugar I end up avoiding a lot of processed junk as well. The really great part is I'm still able to enjoy a WIDE variety of foods. I still eat chips and salsa, bread (great harvest has some delicious, sugarless breads and the ingredients are on the labels), popcorn, smoothies, and the list goes on. I just have to be more specific about what brands I buy. The other thing that's really great about this? I usually end up eating foods with under 5 ingredients all of which I understand!
My sister's friend also suggested I start a food journal and write down briefly what I eat and how I feel before and after and that will teach me to listen to my body better and be aware of what it's telling me. For the first couple days I realized every time I ate I started out not hungry. Sad huh? So that tells me that I eat most the time just cause I'm bored or for other reasons, but not because my body needs nourishment.
Now this isn't the easiest time of year to make these big changes, in fact the day before I decided on this I went to Costco and bought a yummy salsa (sugar added), Costco's amazing muffins and a giant bag of rolls (luckily friends were more than happy to take those items off my hands) but I've still been able to be successful. There have been two times I've allowed myself sugar. On Thanksgiving I ate everything on the table including pumpkin pie, and a slice the next day for breakfast. But my sister's friend helped me to look at these moments as learning experiences. She said to me, "I haven't had cake in a long time, but I know at some point I will have a piece and when I do I know it will make me feel like crap and it will just prove to me why I'm doing this". I like thinking of those lapses in nutrition as learning experiences rather than failures. And at Thanksgiving I paid for those sweets in dizziness, a little anxiety and headaches. The 2nd time I had sugar was tonight on a Christmas drive to look at the lights with Dane and Boss. I got a Starbucks peppermint hot cocoa. It was tasty, but I immediately felt nauseous and now have a headache and feel flu like and It may cause me some anxiety.
The thing is I don't regret the times I've decided to have sweets, but when I do I kinda see it's not that worth it. Sugar doesn't taste as good as it used to and my body feels like crap when it has it. And I don't feel like a failure, because I remember that this is my new life style, not a speed diet. At Christmas I probably will allow some sugar in some of my favorite Christmas treats, but then I'll just hop back to it like I've done. I've been to lots of Holiday events with treats galore and I've just opted out and i've felt great about it. Sugar doesn't have as much a hold on me. It's really just not that big a deal anymore to not have it. This time of year I enjoy making holiday treats, so when I get the urge I bake them, leave a couple for Dane and then send him off to work with the rest to give to his co workers. It's a win-win!
I've also lost a few lbs in the process (which isn't my ultimate goal with this sugarless thing, but a wonderful side effect).
Oh! And a great substitute for hot cocoa is tea! My friend sent me a list of delicious teas. I also have some relaxing sleepy time teas on hand in case I do have anxiety, that might calm me a bit. And I've heard passion flower (in a pill or tea) can be GREAT for anxiety as well.
In other news, Dane lead a wonderful family home evening tonight. We read
THIS article and then took the gratitude challenge. Together we came up with 200 things (in specific categories listed in the article) that we're grateful for. We had Christmas music playing, and Boston climbing all over us while we thought about all of our many blessings. It was a really touching experience and I got all teary eyed as I looked at this giant list of blessings that only BARELY skim the surface of our MANY blessings. I suggest you all read this article (Mormon or not) and take the gratitude challenge. It makes for a really pleasant and humbling night.
Wow this is a long post! Hope this helps someone. :)
PS If you want our Christmas letter and picture card this year leave a comment below or send me an email (jillbradbury@yahoo.com) unless I already have your address. :)
