I won't give up

Jason Mraz

"I Won't Give Up"

Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ...

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

I love these song lyrics.  Mine and Dane's song is Jason Mraz's "I'm yours".  It's a fun, adorable, playful love song and that perfectly describes our relationship in many ways...especially in the beginning.  As we've grown together and faced some trials together, this song above makes me think of my Dane and how much I love him.  I'm mostly thinking of this right now because my anxiety's been pretty high since we moved...mostly just at night, so I'm working through it and preparing for what postpartum might be like.  My postpartum and dealing with all of that is the hardest thing Dane and I have had to do together.  Him having to watch me struggle and not feel like he can help a ton and me struggling to feel peace.  I'm hoping with all that I'm doing to help myself things will be so much different for me this next time, but I'm also prepared that we might still be in for some difficult times.  

It's hard to go through trials, or repeat the same trials, but there are also so many blessings that come from them.  For one, I've really been able to see what a great team Dane and I make.  He is my rock in so many ways and I think somehow I've been a rock for him as well.  He's my best friend and I'm utterly devoted to him and he is beyond devoted to me.   Different lyrics in this song kinda feel like my anthem for my Dane, my boys, my Heavenly Father and myself.   My favorite lines are "Cause even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth, We've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it, No I won't give up".  

Anyway...that's enough Sap for one night.  :) 

Bonding over Misery

I just have to write while on my 10 minute break to say how much I love my husband.  He is my partner in everything and he gives 100% of himself to being that partner.  Tonight Boston is attempting sleep in his big boy bed for the first time.  We're taking the advice of a cousin who took the advice of Super Nanny (both ladies I admire) and we're turning our backs to Boston while he lays in bed, if he gets up, we lay him back down and turn back around, no talking!  I can tell we're all in for a long night, given that Boston is thinking this is an awesome new game, but I never try anything without giving it a couple days before giving up.  We've learned from experience that the first night of something new is the toughest, but it usually gets better.

So, Dane and I have decided to split our night up into 10 minute shifts.  He sits cross legged in the dark bedroom, turning around every 5 seconds to lay our boy back in bed and then I go.  We're on the 3rd shift and Boss is starting to get upset.  I think this is progress.  I hate the 10 minutes I have to be in there, while my back aches, stomach hurts and I'm missing all of my "me/me and Dane time", but at the moment I can't help but just be so grateful that I have Dane to be there for me and Boston every other 10 minutes. :) I'm lucky to have someone as loving and attentive and helpful as Dane. 

I appreciate him so much!  Now back to the trenches I go. 

Send out your sleepy wishes to our little man!

Happy Birthday Dane

Well it's my Love's 29th Birthday, so I'll share on the good ol' bloggy 29 things I L .O. V. E. about this guy, but to make it interesting I will share the first 26 things I love about Daner through the alphabet and since he's soooooo old I'll throw in an extra 3 things.  :)

A- Ambitious.  He has great goals for his career, for our family, for our lives, for our marriage and he's willing to work hard to achieve those goals.  I find that very attractive.
B- Boyish.  He acts his age in all the right ways, (like he's responsible, great with our money, committed and all that jazz) but he's wonderfully boyish in his sense of humor and his playfulness.  This makes for lots of laughs and goofing around between me, Dane and Boston.
C- Charismatic.  I find Dane very charming.  He's sweet and fun to be around and makes everyone feel great about themselves.  Back when we were just friends I always thought the way he delivered little compliments and his flirty ways were very charming. 
D- Dorky.  He doesn't take himself too seriously and he doesn't care about what's "cool".  This makes us two peas in a pod, cause we can be total nerds together.  :)
E- Entertaining.  He makes me laugh every day and he's so accommodating that he's always fun to be around.
F- Family oriented.  Family is the most important thing to him in the World, not just me and Boston, but also his family and mine.  He's loyal and devoted to all of us.
G- Gossipy-he is not.  Don't gossip around him.  You'll just end up feeling ashamed of yourself.  At least that's how I always feel.  He's not self-righteous about it (too bad, if he was I wouldn't feel that bad about gossiping) but he is just SO uncomfortable with it that he's just no fun to gossip to.  I admire this a lot about him.
H- Honest.  He's very open and honest with me and with everyone in his life.  He's one of the most genuine people you'll ever meet.
I- Insightful.  He always helps me gain a better perspective on life and always gives me great ideas about the things that matter most to me.
J- Jill fan.  He makes me feel like I'm something really special and I gotta say, it's nice to feel that way.
K- Killer chef in the kitchen.  He's so creative and willing to experiment with different foods.  I can request anything and he'll whip out awesome treats or dinners when I thought we had NO food.  If he had any sort of passion for it I would say he should be a Chef, but he only enjoys it as a hobby.
L- Loyal.  He's loyal to anyone or thing that matters to him.  He's fiercely loyal.
M- Made for me.  When I was dating and wondering if I would ever meet the right person my sister said, "Jill there will be someone hand picked for you" and I believe with all my heart, Dane's that guy.  He's helped me discover my best self and I love him for that.
N- Night owl.  The boy likes to party at night, watch movies and chat to the wee hours of the morning.  Our first weeks married (before school and work for both of us) we stayed up until 3 or 4 in the morning every night!  I quickly discovered that was not a schedule I could work with, but I sure have good memories of those days and I love our late night chats, or getting caught up in a good book with Dane that we can't put down.
O- Organized.  He's a very together, organized person.  He's on top of all his responsibilities (even some of mine) and that makes life with him very pleasant.
P- Positive.  He's been more stressed this last year than I've ever seen him, but unless you know him really well, you'd never guess he's stressed out, because he always remains happy, non-moody and positive.  I never have to wonder what mood he's gonna be in when he comes home and I appreciate and love that consistency so much.
Q- Quick witted.  He has some great comebacks when we're going back and forth teasing each other.
R- Relaxed.  He's not a high strung person, which is great because I tend to lean that way, so he helps me to be a much more relaxed person than I naturally am.  He's taught me a lot about the joys of learning to kick back every now and then.
S- Sensitive.  I was talking to my sister the other day about the movie "The Holiday".  Have you seen it?  Jude Law stars in it and in one scene he says, "I'm a weeper" in his cute British accent and my sister and I laughed that both our husband's are "weepers".  He's got a soft heart and he's very mindful of mine and others feelings.
T- Talented.  His many talents include, best noise maker ever (give him an animal, any animal and he'll make an awesome sound for it.  His weed whacker's really good too).  He's an excellent chef, diplomatic, able to make friends with all different people, crafty (it's a Yancey thing), great athlete, great singer and guitar player, and an excellent student.
U- Undeniably cute.  I love my tall, dark and handsome man.
V- Vegan.  OK so he's not a Vegan...not even close, but I couldn't think of anything for V!  Very awesome? Valiant?  Virgo? (He's not)
W- Weeper.  I like that he's not afraid to cry.  
X- Xcellent kisser.  I'm sure you were all dying to know. :)
Y- Yodeler.  Excellent Yodeler. 
Z- Zaney?  It rhymes with Daney.  Man the end of the Alphabet makes for some weird adjectives.

27.  He's a great example to me and my boy.  I'll feel like I've done a WONDERFUL job as a parent if my boys end up anything like Dane. I too learn to be a better person, from his example every day.
28.  He's clean! and he knows how to clean and does it pretty often!  In fact he's kinda the resident laundry boy around here (like father like son).
29.  He loves me well.  He has taught me just about everything I know about love and it's wonderful to be on the receiving end of a love like his.

One of my favorite pictures of Dane with his cute niece Pagey.  This was around when Dane and I had been friends for about a year.

I love you Dane!  Happy 29th.  You've done great things with your life so far and I can't wait to see what you do with the next 29 years...so glad I'll get to be with you for every one of them!